God's Unanticipated Faithfulness

For years I almost missed the faithfulness of God because I expected it to look a certain way. I wanted a swift answer to my every prayer, and always in the affirmative.

Make the baby stop crying, Lord. Pleeeease, I am begging You for sleep. 

Make my husband understand me.

Make my kids love one another.

Make my life fruitful for Your kingdom. Pretty please.

But there I always was, alone and changing another diaper, wiping up another mess, totally losing it, and sleep deprived at that. Where was the faithfulness of God to me? If He was near, why did He feel so far?

Hope For Believing

This summer I decided to clear the space beside my deck of the remnants of my failed vegetable gardens over the years.  We actually got some edible tomatoes and cucumbers last year, but mostly we just grow contorted vegetables or no vegetables.  Bugs come and eat them or disease comes and rots them.  That’s our dismal garden history.  

This year, however, I was bound and determined to reclaim that space and make it beautiful by relocating some garden stones and planting flowers and shrubs.  I did the backbreaking work of clearing away the weeds, leveling the land, and carrying the stones one by one.  The space was prepped and ready and I was filled with hope.

Then my baby turned into a toddler.  You know, the kind that moves.  After that we joined the swim team.  Then my husband decided it was time to stain the deck.  And then we said yes to some old chairs from my neighbor because, hello, they are solid oak, and we definitely needed to refinish those as well.  Let me show you the jaw-dropping before and after of our peaceful garden paradise.  

What Failure Has Taught Me About Forgiveness

The stereotype is true that the more kids you have, the more you let go.  I used to think of it as a frazzled and frustrated letting things go, the type that elicits searing thoughts like, What a shame, she’s really let herself go.  

You know the picture—a disheveled mom with greasy hair and milk-stained t-shirt wearing the same sweatpants four days in a row.  I’m sure I looked down on those poor women.  Children are just such a burden, no wonder she’s a wreck.